Self reminder

It is the core of who we are that give us strength. Amid the daily pressures of life, never lose sight of who we are. Every little decision and choice should define we are and aligned with our core values. It may be difficult to stand up to the pressures but it is the only way to maintain happiness.

Life has been rather tough lately. I feel like a totally different person from the carefree self I was in January. In fact, I feel like 4 different persons in the same year. Or rather, I feel like a person with 4 different lives in the same year. After all the changes, it is time to take stock for some brutal self reflections. C is right. I need to seriously consider the character fit or change my perspective. Changing my perspective does not mean changing my core values. And I need to take stock that work is part of my life. The problems associated with it should not be magnified into an endless flow of stress. I need to progress in other parts of life to strive a balance.

On the family front, I am truly blessed to have an ever supportive and caring mum. I am touched and thankful for my mum’s unconditional love. Lately, it has struck me how strong and independent she has become. I am truly proud of her strength and her receptiveness to try out now things these days. She quite amazes me these days. I used to think I was the strong one and she was the weak one. It has become quite the reverse recently. She has increasing become my source of strength and anchor these days. I feel truly blessed.

Smell the roses

is what I want to constantly remind myself. In the past one month, work seems to have completely taken over my life. From mon to fri, it’s all about work. Most nights, I leave office between 10pm – 11.45pm and could do nothing more grab a cab home, shower & drag myself to bed. On weekends, I catch up on both sleep and work. Frankly, I feel stressed and tired all the time. Even sleep is restless.

2 recent incidents serve as timely reminder that I need to adapt quickly to the stress and somehow finds more balance in my life.

Incident 1: Our old family friends, this kindly couple went for a family holiday in China. On the eventful day, they were supposed to trek up a hill for a scenic view. Uncle complained of a headache and took a panadol for it. He told his family to go ahead and he would wait for them at the foot of the hill. When they came back, he was already dead. Apparently, he developed breathing complications while waiting for them. Everyone was shell-shocked. So were we when we heard the news. It made you realized how fragile life is.

Incident 2: My mum’s friend who was struggling with cancer was transferred out of ICU and passed away overnight. Mum and her group of friends were rejoicing over news that their friend was out of ICU and making plans to visit her. Unfortunately, she passed away before they could visit.

These stories are not uncommon. Every person I know have encountered death and illnesses by association. It is a reminder to live life meaningfully and treasure life. At this moment, when it is so easy to let work overwhelm me, it is a reminder on the importance of striking a balance in life. It is also a reminder to live the life I want, not the life that is built on others’ expectation of me.

Humbled

Am humbled that all my mum wants for her birthday is just to have dinner with me at home and a very small cake so that I can sing her a birthday song. I guess I have always known that this is all she wants. For her past birthdays, I have always made more of an effort in organizing dinner out or made an attempt at cooking dinner. This year, I feel really too exhausted to do more than just ta bao some hawker fare, the fact that she was equally happy really warms my heart. I feel truly humbled in my parents’ love for me. It was the one thing I have always taken pride in when growing up. My family may be poor but I have always feel rich from their overflowing love for me.

3rd Q – Reflections

This has been quite an amazing year. A year of contradictions where there are seeminglessly lots of changes, and yet, after the rollercoaster ride, I realize that the most fundamental things are still the same. The things that matter the most to me, my values and my personality have remained unchanged. However, I am more appreciative of the people around me. When the going is hard, I look back to the last few months and remind myself that the most important thing is to keep going. I am also aware that in some aspects, I am truly blessed and I do have alot to be thankful for.

My job description

Spend alot of time walking to and fro the office/shuttling between 2 buildings to make sure different people sign on the same piece of paper.

Of course, the beauty of email totally elude us. Nothing beats old school.

Dose of bitchiness

job description 1: postbox

I totally understand the need to maintain the employment statistics.

job description 2: say no to everything that comes along. In the event that the other party cannot accept “no” as a answer due to various justifications, window-dress the “NO” by saying “please escalate to the higher authority”.
I seriously love to refer you for a spine implant so that you do not live in daily fear of losing your job everyday. Poor thing.

Job description 3: sit there and look not pretty.

Another great way to up employment statistics.

You are coming …

You are coming back today.

I concur

Different places, different shit, still shit.

First impression

I like the people here. At least, I know the boss is a nice chap. People here are busy but they are decent human beings unlike the previous place.

However, I sense the stress level here is high. It is a different kind of stress comparatively. In the previous place, stress came from the politics and bitchiness of the environment. In this place, stress comes from performance targets. And I have to admit the previous person who left was very good. I am kinda stress about living up to expectations.

It looks like the going ahead is gonna be tough. Whatever is ahead, I hope to do my best and see career progression here. When the going gets tough, I will remind myself of how difficult the past few months was and the long process I have to go through for this position. I hope the past few months can be a humbling experience to remind me to be grateful of what I have and be a motivating source of strength to drive me further.

幸福

看到家人过得好，这就是我真实的幸福。今天晚餐时，看着吃饭的家人，我忽然有一种说不出的幸福。这种感觉让我觉得很踏实，很满足，也很感恩。
我想记住这种感觉。