Happy Love Thursday (Well in advance)

 

Yes, I know. It’s only Tuesday. But, since writing is hard for me, better write it all down while the words are still floating in my brain.

 

 

We are constantly fighting over trivial issues. We fight over bathroom, who forgot to turn off the tap, the enormous amount of junks she likes to keep, her constant nagging, my need for privacy and everything else. In fact, we disagree on just about everything under the sun.

 

After every fight, I always feel real bad and she will feel real sad. But, no matter how bad our fights are, we never doubt our love for each other. And, we never bear grudges for days on ends. Our fights are usually short spanning affairs.

 

We both have our little ways of showing remorse. My mum’s peace-offering is always food or just asking me to come out for meals. Nowadays, I have learned to swallow my pride and apologize directly if I feel it is my fault. A peace-offering hug is never out of place either.

 

On days that we are getting along famously, we hold hands when we go out. We go for movies once in a while or shopping or eat at her favorite restaurants. We laugh together over stupid jokes or reminisce over the past. We played chess together and watched drama series together.

 

We support and complement each other in our ways. Where she is weak, I make up for it by being strong. When I am feeling down and demoralized, she offers me her comforting hug and a shoulder to cry on. For all our differences, we are interdependent on each other. For we are both aware that we are the only family the other party have. We are everything to each other. It is our love for each other that sustains us through trying periods of our lives. It is this love and kinship that acts as a beacon of hope to pull us through illness and death.

 

I love you, Mum! And, I am really proud and happy of the changes I have seen in you these recent years. You have grown so much more independent and you have make new friends and cultivate new hobbies.

 

In our lives ahead, I wish for you to live life with a more open perspective. To be more curious about new things, to enjoy new experiences, makes more new friends, travel to different places and just enjoy carefree living. To nurture a delightful sense of self confident in being the woman you are and not be tied down by anyone’s stereotyping. And, of course, to stay happy and healthy. Love you loads, Mum!

First Lesson, First Impression

 

Today spells the start of my course.

And I love it! I have to admit I walked into class today with both a sense of excitment and some apprehension. After all, it has been so long since I study anything that was not remotely finance related. But, the first lesson has sparkled my excitment over the course.

My lecturer is this delightful lady who cracks me up with her jokes and blunt demeanor. She is good fun. I like her style of teaching too. It is very discussionary, alot of room for thought provoking questions and insights. I am already getting the feeling that I will get alot out of this course. In fact, I think I am going to make some interesting self discoveries before the course ends.

I do not know anybody in class yet but they seem an interesting mix of characters from diverse background. It is going to be fun getting to know them. New perspectives and horizons to explore.

And you know what the irony of this? I am taking this course cos I am ready to pursue a different direction in life but this course may just end up helping me to be more effective in my job. Tough call if that happens. I guess, that’s why life is so interesting. You never know what you stumble across.

Just attending the class makes me realised how good it feels to try new things. I think I was allowing life to get too stagnant for my own good. I am more resolved to fit more new experiences to my life. Well, after 30 years of sheltered lifestyle, I have alot of catching up to do. 

And you know what the upside of this course? We get some really interesting homework. For our first assignment, we are supposed to go around and peppered our daily conversations with 20 “Why?” and come back to discuss what we observe from our victims. Ha! Life just doesn’t stop getting better.

Keep moving on

Some days we move with a sense of purpose

With the certainty that we are a step nearer the direction that we want

Then life happens we are suddenly left pondering which is the right direction

And we hesitate

And then, we realised that there are no right direction in life

It is only a matter of choice

And what is really important is the journey and the person we become 

What is important is the values that we hold true and the loved ones that we hold dear

So be bold and just keep moving on

Thoughts from Bangkok

Bangkok is a place which intrigues me.

I love the street food, the colourful feel of the place. You see people from all over the world trying to converse with the locals using limited thai and lots of gestures. You think how amazing it is that humans all over the world can still communicate through our common language, our facial expressions. You see simplicity alongside complexity. The wealth disparity is evident everywhere. It is a place where you can find the old right beside the new. You can find little street stalls that were commonplace in Singapore decades ago but are slowly diminishing today. Turn a corner or walk a few paces and you can find hip shopping malls that boast of the impressive architecture, innovative interior designs and wide arrays of merchandises which put our local shopping malls to shame.

I was nineteen when I first stepped into Bangkok on a study trip. I remember the newly opened Seacon Square which was the largest shopping mall in Asia then. We were properly impressed with the gigantic structure and excitedly went around the complex scouting for ideas for our final year project. The focus of the project was to compare the shopping scenes in Singapore with Bangkok. We were supposed to bring back fresh ideas we saw on the trip and integrated them into a tourism and retail project that will attract foreign shoppers to Singapore and boast the tourism industry. Amazingly, our group was awarded the top project prize despite our incessant fights.

That was more than 10 years back. Even then, we were following in the trail of the Bangkok retail scene. Today, we are still lacking behind in Bangkok in this area, despite the numerous shopping complexes that we have and more to come. It really makes one wonder if we really need more shopping complexes with the same shops repeated. Or will it be a better idea to use more creativity and save our limited space for more constructive uses or reserve more open space for better city planning? If more is really better, maybe, more parks and spaces will be better appreciated in an already congested city?

After all, we are only an island state. It only takes us an hour to go from one end of the island to the other end. Most of us are quite willing to travel. I mean, just look at the crowd rushing to Vivio City! Do we really need to have another Charles & Keith or G2000 shop within 10 mins of each other?

While Singapore is planning more retail malls with the same retail mix and increasing GST, I am sure there are many more Singaporeans like myself who are planning to conserve more of our money for overseas spending.

Just so tired

Back from Bangkok and just rushing through life.  I seem to have so many things demanding my attention and not enough time to do them. Of course, this is largely due to my poor time management. With Chinese New Year fast approaching, I have yet to set aside time to for spring cleaning. The store room, windows, all corners of the house screaming for attention. Chairs awaiting to be polished and floor to be scrubbed. My mum has started a small part and I have yet to lift a hand to help. In office, paperwork seems to be piling up with all the clients servicing I am doing recently. Dreadful forms filling, especially when I think how unneccessary most of them are but for the sake of compliance, got to do it. I am working on Sat and yet, I have not been able to up my activities to the level to bring in new accounts. Into the month of Feb and I am still chasing for my Jan targets. With Chinese New Year, my Phuket trip and my 4 days workshop all blooming up, I am ever so conscious of how short of time I am in chasing for my first quarter target. Plus, my part time classes are starting next week. I need more time or better time management skills.   For someone who does not have tons of friends, I seem to have quite an active social life, demanding more of my time. Weekends see me trying to fit my friends, cousins, birthdays, childbirths visits, theatre, new year shopping and catch up sessions whichever way I can.  This leaves me no time to think and not enough sleep. I am just so tired. I wish for some peace and quiet to think, to sleep, to read my books, listen to my music and just to sit there quietly, relax and not have to talk to anyone. Before that can happen, I need to cultivate my ability to say “No” to distractions and demands.  I need to be abit more stringy with my time and be more self centred. I need to priortise and stay focused on what is important to me.  I need to remind myself how that I cannot solve other people’s problem, they are fully capable of sorting their issues on their own and I should just leave them to it.

Note to self

There is no passion without hope. That is the reason why I feel like I have lost the passion for this career. Now that I have definite goals and a clearer direction of where I want to go. I have started hoping again. I do feel more positive energy within.  Somehow, the world seems brighter when you are hopeful. This feeling has been missing for a while. It feels good to have it back.