Vagabond At Heart

I have a “Tell”. When I am mad, upset or disgusted with someone, I do not look the person in the eye. This happens when I am still too upset to be in control of my emotions to tell the person rationally what is wrong or when I decide the person is too hopeless to even bother.

It is a bad habit that I have problem kicking. I am probably one of those people who is lousy at hiding their feelings. I always feel that the person knows exactly how I feel about them the moment I look at them. Thus, I instinctively avoid eye contact when I am not ready to talk about what is wrong or when it is not viable to let the person know how repulsive I find them.

The job hunting is getting to me. Or rather, the lack of suitable position is eroding my patience and confidence. I need to remind myself constantly that this is what I want and I need to be more patient. After all, nobody says that a mid career change is ever easy. I just need to just keep sending those resumes and have faith that sooner or later I can get what I want.

Meanwhile, I am blocking out all the voices (especially colleagues) who are telling me to stay. I am quite firm that, looking ahead, this is what I want. I want to gain more corporate and regional exposures to build up my marketability for my future progression. I am looking forward to the change. Sure, I am giving up my comfort zone, current freedom and flexibility. However, I am convinced changing now is for the better in long term. This lack of suitable offer is my first stumbling block yet. I just need to be patient and focus on what I can do. Meanwhile, reading up more to boast my chances at interviews couldn’t hurt.