My elderly uncle

My uncle has been in hospital for more than a week. Mum has been nagging me to visit him. But, I have been putting it off as I feel quite of awkward going alone. This is the one uncle I have always been awkward around since young. As a child, I never ventured beyond the upfront greeting of “Uncle”. As an adult, I never seem to know what to say to him after the polite address. So today, finally got to pay him a visit with my cousins.

My initial feeling was my uncle has really aged. He is still the strong personality he has always been. In fact, he was giving the nurse instructions on how to feed him the medication in a firm but polite way. But, there is great change physically. He was someone who could never stay at home. He retired early but was always going downtown, visiting places or friends. Now, he is restrained by poor eyesight and a lack of mobility. And to hear him lamenting about poor health in old age is quite unlike him.

There was not much we can do for him but to listen quietly to him. Even though, I was never close to him. My dad used to look up to him. It was this uncle who got his family to stand by me and offered me the most help when my dad passed away. I wanted to thank you somehow but the words never got out of my mouth. Somehow, I have never been able to overcome the awkwardness between us.  

I was struggling to hold a conversation today. In fact, with our combined cousins’ efforts, there were still awkward lapse of silence. But, I guess I should try to visit again. I guess having someone visit is still nice in a way even if the person have nothing much to say to you. Maybe, I will drop by tomorrow after meeting my client.