Vagabond At Heart

12/03/08

Everyday I wake up and I feel tired.

Every night when I get home, I feel tired. Not physically. Rather the mind draining kind of tiredness.

Not sure where the main bulk of the tiredness is coming from. Is it the work stress, trying to figure out the systems, understand the reports and struggling to string together bits and pieces of information to make some sense of things so that I do not appear too inadequate? Or trying to curb my sense of inadequancy in a completely new environment.

I am also completely freaked out with the crowds. Every morning, I think of the crazy crowd at the train station and I want to run a mile. Squeeze..elbow…push…in all ways & manners. This is like the biggest shock in joining the mad hour rush every day. Twice a day. No, I forget the lunch hour crowd. So, it is 3 times a day. That day, we took 20 mins before we could get a seat for lunch cos it was raining. I have learned to sleep standing on the train just so that I could partially tune out the crowd.

I can’t decide which is the part that I find most draining. Adapting to work, people, system or routine.

This is only the second week into my new life and I feel so tired. I take comfort in knowing that I seem to have a better sense of how things function as compared to last week. Chin up! Transition is always hard. It can only gets easier.