Last I heard, they were trying for a kid.
Fast forward, half a year later.
They are filing for a divorce.
Both parties are adamant about it.
The only bright spot one can think of is, “It is a good thing that the kid did not come along.”
Really sad shit.
I woke up this morning looking forward to a relaxing day, just a full day training and a quiet dinner with a friend.
But, in the course of the day, I received
News of a new birth
News of death
News of a couple I know filing for divorce.
An invitation by client to attend a dinner event.
Followed by cousins’ messages to meet for supper.
Too tired to eat, brain cannot process anymore
We are a family.
Taken when I visited a friend. Bad photography. But it is loaded with love and warmth.
Loss. Cut.
Loss. Cut.
These two words about sum up my mental space recently.
Two simple and powerful words translating into stiff shoulders, rigid back and a whole chain of rather unfriendly reactions.
And churning. Lots of churning in my stomach. And tons of burping and discomfort. I feel like a billowing whale most of the time.
This house is amazing.
Envision going to bed with the waves luring you into slumber and waking up to the same soothing sounds with birds chirping for companions, streak of dawn light enticing you into wakefulness.
To glaze out and see miles and miles of sea all around.
How lovely.
I wonder what they mean by skilled workers. For the privilege to stay here for a week, I will have gladly wash toilet, scrub kitchen, any cleaning job is fine.
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/08/07/garden/20080807-CLINGSTONE_index.html
Halfway through training today, I suddenly felt really thankful for this job. Granted this is not the best place to be in, but this is an entry point, a stepping stone. The role was what I had in mind when I was in school. After a detour, I am doing what I wanted.
The training was very useful. It certainty cleared lots of cobwebs from my mind. After all the fumbling and stumbling, it was really wonderful to have things explained to me in clear and concise details. The trainer was really good in explaining concepts and putting them into practical context and perspectives to help us grasp the technicalities of application.
It is a pity part of this training was not conducted as part of orientation. Of course, I do agree that some portion of the training is really relevant and useful only after you have worked on a few cases. I supposed training cost was probably a consideration when planning the training schedule.
Anyway, this training is like the best use of my time since I joined. We all came back with an appreciation of how badly written our previous reports were. Hopefully, our bosses can look forward to reading better reports, which do not cause as much distress, after the training. I still have a long long way to go but I also realised how much I have picked up in the past few months. It is a good feeling.
I count my blessing and thank my lucky stars for having a great boss.
She is the best boss I have worked with so far. She is really there to solve problem and yet manage to give us individual spaces.
I am really thankful to her. Even though, many such occasions come with a tinge of guilt that she is helping to do some of my stuffs or cleared some screwed up situation with customers. But, I have accepted that this is the learning process that I must inevitably go through. I have also decided that sometimes, it is not a good idea to sweat the small stuffs. Like insisting she throw back the report so that I can amend it myself which will inevitably make both of us busier, even though, mentally I was already trying to grab the report back. Instead I curbed my denser impulse and made a mental resolution to brush up my technical competencies asap so that my next report will be better. After looking through the amended report, I was quite comforted that it was not as bad as I thought. As I proceed, I should get better at picking up details to present a stronger case.
I have stopped looking at the photo.
I have only allowed myself to look at it 3 times.
Yet, I have committed it to memory.
I can recall to mind, your smiling faces.
If I see her on the street, I will recognise her at a glance.
If I see you on the street, I will turn away if I have the chance and head for the opposite direction.
So much for maturity. Some things just never change.
