It’s that time of the year

I have 2 New Year’s resolutions this year.

My top priority New Year’s resolution for 2009 is to focus on giving myself choices in my life. 2008 did not feel like a good year even though it was really like a fresh start in more ways than one. Rather than feeling fresh and alive, I find myself feeling trapped. In many instances, I felt like I was facing a deadend. So, I have decided that the next time, I feel like this, I will focus on finding alternatives, giving myself feasible choices and options to make things better and making things happen.

The other one is to be myself. Just to be myself really.

I did tell myself

to stick it out at least 1 year.
1 year is not that far.
Take a deep breath.

Touched

I have yet to blog about P’s ROM.
Overall, it was cosy, intimate and sweet in its simplicity.
Despite its simplicity, it was one of the most memorable ROM I attended. Sparkling with warmth.
All of us have fun.
The venue was nice and cosy, charming 2 generations alike.
Everything about the ROM speaks of simple and elegance.
My friend was gorgerous. Her man was nice and humourous.

The ceremony was beautiful.
I have never seen the couple look as serious as they are in declaring their vows. There is something very emotional about watching your good pal say, “I do” and exchanging vows.

The rush of emotions and stinging of tears reminded me of when the best friend’s wedding day. I felt almost protective of my friend, the friend I grown up with, walking out of the home she grown up in to walk the rest of her life with her husband.

With P, I was quite awashed with emotions that after all those relationships where they almost made it to the altar, she finally found her other half. This man who is almost a boy like the way P is almost a gal still. This man who cursed as much as she does and makes her laugh as much as she makes him laugh. This man who is firmly committed with her that in their relationship, there will be no half truths. This man who accepts her in totality, endures her nonsense with smiling tolerances and loves her for who she is. This man who accepts her family and friends and treat them like his own family and friends. This man who willingly and graciously gives up inviting any of his own friends for the occasion due to a space constraint in the room. I was touched that he is so nice.

(P.s. I incidently bumped into his friend and accidently let slip that I am going for the ROM without realising that K actually decided to give up inviting all his friends so that P could invite hers. The friend was rather nice too and cautioned me not to mention K about me bumping into him as he did not want K to feel bad about not inviting them. )

You go, gal! I wish both of you every happiness you deserves and lots of laughter in your lives together. I am really glad that K is such a nice guy who really pampers you! You guys truly feel like you belong together.

And, I was really touched to have you presenting your bouquet to me while telling me that you wished that I will find my own happiness soon. That was another beautiful moment too. It brought me back to early this year when I was sobbing uncontrollably on your shoulder by the roadside with K standing a little way off to give me some privacy. I was touched by your friendship all over again.

I will always remember your ROM as a whole series of beautiful moments.

Carved in stone

One of my major turnoffs is attention seeking persona. There are people I make exceptions off. Like G. Cos she has a heart of gold and the attention seeking aura is not in any bad ways. But, I am absolutely unsympathetic to people who feels the need to play out and broadcast personal bad news over the internet in a very deliberate manner.

E.g.
Received sms regarding impeding wedding.
Received sms postponing wedding.
Status on FB updated to “It’s complicated!”
Updates on Couple Album
Status updated to “Single”
Progressive postings of selling household items & wedding items.
Staus updated back to “It’s complicated!”
All the above happening in a span of 2-3 weeks, in the month of the wedding.
Maybe, we may still make it to the wedding?

The last thing they broke off, we received a mass sms notifying us of the breakup. Yet, the subsequent patch up in rather short time frame was all “hush..hush…” In case, you are wondering, it is not nice to make people worried about you and then, to keep silent when all is well.

Call me callous. This time round, I refuse to even enquire about what is happening. We are obviously not close friends. Cos if we are, I will probably have given you a very big piece of my mind.

I carry your heart in my heart

I wish I could said that.
True is, I do not. Your heart is not anywhere near. I just carry you in my silly old heart.

What happens after this

USD interest rate is almost zero. What’s next? I wonder if there is any person who can confidently predict what will happen to the global financial market in this bottomless pit of crisis.

Too bad dough is not free

Case A:
Mr Exotic Personality in trying to convince us that he should not be paying for the dough that we advanced him, volunteered to strip himself naked for dear boss. It was a colourful conversation. Let’s hope he is not serious. If only the dough is free, we will have willingly give it to him fOC to save ourselves the prospect of an unwanted strip tease show.

Case B:
Mr Honey Coated Tongue tried his darnest to convince me of the delightful savoury taste of his new-found recipe and the excellent prospect of them selling like hot cakes. He was so very eager for us to advance him dough so that he can set about baking up a storm. So eager that he will take the dough in any form that he can get, loose, packed or anything. To ensure I was fully convinced, I must be flattered, coaxed, pressurized and hassled. When all else failed, there is always the silent treatment dragged out over the phone line. unfortunately, the dough is not mine. So, none can be awarded despite all the effort.

Case C:
Mr Nice Personality confidently declared that when all else failed, he shall enter to monopolise a specific range of the bakery products and up their demand to benefit the villagers. Have to give him credit for being true to his words. He is so nice that I will give him the dough for free if I can.

Case D:
Mr Self Denial altenates between mild bullshit and resignation. The mild bullshit stems from desperation. The resignation sets in after last ditch efforts fails. I feel really bad every time I called him. In fact, I feel like such a bully after putting down the phone. Will like to help but the dough is not free, you know. If you have difficulty selling the product you baked, maybe it is better to return the dough to us.

Case E-Z:
Too tired to go on. But, people, if you have problem paying for dough you brought, there is no way we can be giving you more dough for baking, no matter how attractive your bakery products are or how great your bakers are.

Haha!

Guess no one can say he does not deserve it.

And to the journalist: “Oh darn! You missed!”

If I am not too extravagant

this month, I should be able to hit my savings target for this year. Not any big amount but not bad for 9 months of work.

If I can make myself take the public transport to work everyday, I should be able to save more next year. With the crisis going on, I really should convince myself that cabbing to work is excessively extravagant. So is cabbing home actually. Guess, it’s time to load my MP3 with music & try to reduce my aversion to the mad morning train crowd. Or rather, waking up half an hour earlier.

Notes to myself for 2009 on my spending habits:

1. I shall not buy another book until I have finished reading all my stash of books at home. Likely to take another couple of years, I think.
2. I shall buy instant coffee & tea to office. In fact, cutting down on caffeine is a good idea.
3. No accessories unless I am overseas.
4. No more bags. I have more than enough bags to suit all occasions.
5. No more wallets for the next 3 years, at least. Or until this current one wears out. To compensate for my latest splurge.
6. No more shoes until I wear out my current shoes to 10 pairs. Only exception is when I am overseas.
7. Be more cost conscious when eating out. This means not over-ordering which is what we do half the time. Also, be more cost conscious for lunch.
8. No more jacket suits. I have no more space in my closet.
9. No more pants or plain skirts either.
10. No more T-shirts except a couple of gym wear.
11. No more jeans.
12. No more lotions or cosmetics until I finish whatever I have at home.
13. No fashion magazines.
14. Cut down on booze.
15. Cut down on snacking.
16. Control impulsive buying. Like the set of teacups I brought on Friday cos I really like them.
17. No more watches.
18. Learn to say “No” to unnecessary stuff.
19. Stick to cheaper brands for generic stuff than does not make a difference. Even for groceries.
20. Do not waste electricity.
21. Cut down on expensive chocolates purchases.
22. No cabbing to work everyday.
23. No cabbing home from work unless really tired.
24. Cut down on unneccessary cabbing on weekends. Like no cabbing to friends’ place.
25. Submit my transport reimbursement claim monthly before I lose the receipts & end up paying from own pocket.
26. No extravagant holiday this year.
27. Just generally be more careful about my spending. Don’t think I will ever be the penny pinching type. But, I need to be more cost conscious & build up my savings again, especially now.

My latest oldies craze

I am getting myself a Beatles Complilation for X’mas this year for a dose of my latest craze for oldies.

When I am Sixty-four
By Beatles

When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me
a Valentine Birthday greetings, bottle of wine
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four
You’ll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater
by the fireside
Sunday morning go for a ride
Doing the garden,
digging the weeds
Who could ask for more
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four
Every summer we can rent a cottage
In the isle of Wight, if it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera Chuck and Dave
Send me a postcard drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely
what you mean to say
Yours sincerely wasting away
Give me an answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four