Our Christmas Tradition

Every Christmas, we pop down to orchard to look at the Christmas lightings together. We wander amidst the crowd for a short while, take some quick pictures and hop on a bus for a joy-ride to enjoy the lightings at ease. In this relaxed mood, we have random conversations that are a little different from our day to day talk.

As always, I think of dad. Not with sadness but always with fond memories. I think of this tradition as keeping a part of him in my life. I wonder if mum feels the same way. Nowadays, I insist on supper after that. That is nice too.

Oh and tonite was fun. Most of the shopping malls have extended their operation hours. We managed to pop in to Tangs for some girly window shopping. I convinced mum to try some fanciful dresses for fun. A low cut dress and a girly floral dress. The saleperson convinced her to try more and more dresses. It was damn amusing to watch my mum’s reaction to her low cut dress. First, horrified that it was actually so low, followed by bashfulness which swiftly converted to a dash of smugness and vanity when she realized that she does look quite good in it. That prompted her to try the other dresses eagerly.

Well, they said women of all ages are vain. Apparently, it is true. *amused*

Bo Bian!

There is something endearing about seeing my usually gruff uncle rendering to all the whims and fancies of his 2 years old granddaughter.

It is so cool to see the 2 years old tot reach out her little hand for her “Gong gong” and lead the way like a little adult.

It is so cool to see my uncle’s face all deck out in smiles when they are hanging out together. Both full of character and attitude. It is so amusing to watch them!

In my uncle’s words “Tu teo zi koh, bo bian! ” (hokkien roughly translated to he is helpless in her face. kekeke.)

My elderly uncle

My uncle has been in hospital for more than a week. Mum has been nagging me to visit him. But, I have been putting it off as I feel quite of awkward going alone. This is the one uncle I have always been awkward around since young. As a child, I never ventured beyond the upfront greeting of “Uncle”. As an adult, I never seem to know what to say to him after the polite address. So today, finally got to pay him a visit with my cousins.

My initial feeling was my uncle has really aged. He is still the strong personality he has always been. In fact, he was giving the nurse instructions on how to feed him the medication in a firm but polite way. But, there is great change physically. He was someone who could never stay at home. He retired early but was always going downtown, visiting places or friends. Now, he is restrained by poor eyesight and a lack of mobility. And to hear him lamenting about poor health in old age is quite unlike him.

There was not much we can do for him but to listen quietly to him. Even though, I was never close to him. My dad used to look up to him. It was this uncle who got his family to stand by me and offered me the most help when my dad passed away. I wanted to thank you somehow but the words never got out of my mouth. Somehow, I have never been able to overcome the awkwardness between us.  

I was struggling to hold a conversation today. In fact, with our combined cousins’ efforts, there were still awkward lapse of silence. But, I guess I should try to visit again. I guess having someone visit is still nice in a way even if the person have nothing much to say to you. Maybe, I will drop by tomorrow after meeting my client.

Chocolate Talk

 

A brought me some champagne chocolates from Switzerland. They are irresistably good and so pretty. Mum is on cloud nine. Chocolates are the great love of her life, right after durian and moi truly. Everytime I travel, no matter where, I get her some chocolates.

Her reaction after eating these,”How come the ones you buy back are not as nice? Also champagne, rite? And Switzerland too?”

Me: “Mom! Those are really expensive, you know.”

Her reply: “Also not nice one.”

I rolled my eyes in amused exasperation.

My mum’s high expectation of chocolates started when W brought me a box of Sins chocolates one Christmas. After that, no Cabburys can satisfy her. She still eats them but not with great enjoyment. I used to buy her Sins chocolates whenever I clinched a big deal in my initial 2 years. Now, I only do it occasionally.

There were once I brought her a box of Godiva. Guess what? She thinks they are “Not as good as Sins”. The Sins chocolates are still her favourite until recently, when, YF brought me a box of Royce chocolate. That is the end of the Sins era and the beginning of our Royce era.

And now, these champagne chocolates. It is good that they sell them thousands of miles away. Well, at least, I shall assume so until she discovers them incidentally on any of the supermarket shelves.

Parents and baby

There is something wonderful, sweet and warm about having a baby cling on to you and fall asleep in your embrace. A feeling of contentment holding on to the warmth of the trusting little sweetheart in your arms.

Yet, there is something about visiting a married couple who have just been given the joyful status of parenthood that makes you want to run a mile. You watch them bustling around, with ceaseless rounds of activity, just trying to please and pacify the little one. With no time for any decent conversation for each other and constantly on rotation shift trying to manage the baby. Looking tired and run-down, being irritable with each other, yet always able to summon up a smile for the baby.

MH is right. In her words “Having a baby will change your life completely.”

But, most people will still want to have children because of the joy. Maybe, it is because it somehow makes living feels more complete. Children leaves you with no time to feel the emptiness of life. Their smile will take away all the tiredness that you feel in a day. Their embrace makes you feel so wonderful. Their words bring smile to your face. And, the rest of the time, they just drive you crazy.  

Most of my parenting friends are just alternating between happiness and stressful frustration. But, the happiness seem to be overshadowing all the stressful frustration. So, that is good.

Family Warmth

 I love you guys too. Thank you.

We are kids again!

It’s 6am in the morning and I just got home from having breakfast with my cousins.

No, we didn’t get up early to have breakfast. We were having supper actually. And we ended up playing Monopoly ALL NIGHT LONG. 

We had so much fun together. We were shamelessly taunting each other like little kids and giggling. It is almost like our childhood days. The few of us, teasing each other and having fun. Squabbling and getting excited about the silliest things. hehe! The only difference is in this cool era we get to swipe cards for millions of our make-believe dollars instead of counting out the fake dollars.

Guess some things never change. It’s cool to have cousins! Feels good to be doing silly stuff together once in a while.

My cousin is 38!

As usual, we celebrated with loads of yummy food followed by a singing session. This year, we have a new addition to the celebration. Our little niece who is endearingly grouchy and cute! She has an amazingly independent character. In fact, when you see her, you see “CHARACTER”! And no, she is not one of those screaming kids crying for attention. She is happiest if you leave her to do her stuff.

The fact of life

My friend’s father passed away on Friday. He had final stage lung cancer. He was in hospital for 3 months. My friend had just transferred him to a hospice for 3 days cos there were nothing they could do to save him. According to the doctors, he had only 3-6 months of life left. But, he left us peacefully sooner than expected.

This kindly uncle was always full of smiles and treated everyone with warmth.

The family was prepared for the worse but not so soon. They received the shock with mixed feelings mingled with controlled grief. They are trying desperately to keep their grief under control until the funeral is over. The reality of the shock is still taking time to sink in. And, there is a part that is relieved that his sufferings was not prolonged fighting with the pain of losing him. The yearning to have him by their side for as long as possible. Every day counts. Also the part that is lamenting the injustice of it. Plus the guilt of not being able to do more and the anger of being so helpless.

There isn’t very much that we can do for them. I can only hang around to offer emotional support, rotate shifts and run odd errands.

Auntie was saying to me, ” He is such a good man. Why him? It is so unfair.” I could only hold her hands and tell her that at least he is not suffering anymore. I could think of nothing else to say cos I know how futile it is to say anything else.

7 years ago, that was the only thing I took comfort in. That he is not in pain anymore. 7 years ago, I felt relieved that he is not suffering anymore, relieved that I don’t have to watch the agony of sickness anymore and relieved that it is all over. It took me years to overcome the trauma, the guilt and the grief. But, time really do heals.

Looking at my friend and her mum, I can only hope that time will help them heal faster.

Auntie has been married to uncle for the past 38 years. Hearing her talk about how they met and what a good man he is, one can’t help feeling sad. Auntie has poor eye-sight. She has been dependent on uncle to be a trusty walking aid for a long time. She is really scared of her new life without her life time companion. Yet, listening to her talk of facing her new life without him, one can’t help but admire her courage.

Uncle, may you rest in peace.

Half baked nerd with half baked linguistic ability

Channel U is airing 清宫风云. Am happily following the serial whenever I can.

http://ent.sina.com.cn/v/m/f/dqfy/

Beside 清宫风云, I also like the serials 水浒传 and 三国演义. 

Most of my friends who discovered my likings for the above are truly amazed. Most of them dubbed these shows as boring and nerdy. Which is why I have always feel a little squemish about telling someone that I like such shows.

But, I really like them. I like the brillant plots and strategizing of warfare. They are really ingenious. I like watching the hao qin of the people of those eras. I like watching their power plays and the complexity of their thinking. I do not find them the least boring. In fact, I am quite fascinated with them.

Then, I realised something recently.

Most of my male colleagues like 三国演义 too! Both men of my age and the uncles. I was so happy! That makes me feel so much less of a freak! So, maybe, I am just tom-boyish in my liking. hehehe….That discovery got us all so excited. We animatedly discussed episodes and plots. We acted like we finally found kindred spirits in each other. Think the gals in office were quite amused with us.

I guess I like the serials also because it is the easier way for me to get the stories beside enjoying the life-like drama. Cos, I hate to read in Mandarin.

I definitely cannot write in Mandarin to save my life. I can probably read enough to wring it when the occasion calls for reading. Yet, my first spoken language is Mandarin. I speak it at home and with close friends. This strange linguistic disequilibrium comes from having parents who are chinese educated. Since they speak Mandarin as a first language, it is only natural for them converse with me in Mandarin. And since they were not able to tutor me in English, they spared no expenses or efforts (bringing me to library every week) to ensure that I get plenty of reading materials in English.

Results:

I generally speak more in Mandarin out of business context but am more comfortable reading and writing in English. Of course, in Singapore, we have a tendency to use English. So, that helps to tip the equilibrium.

But, I guess that their efforts to introduce me to the Chinese culture in my early childhood did manifest itself in my liking for historical drama serials. I can still recite some Tang dynastry poems that they taught me when I was 3 years old.

P.s. One of your most endearing quality was that you could appreciate such drama serials too. In fact, you even like 走向共和. I like the fact that you have diverse interests and have an open and avid mind. Always open to new things and fun to be with. Wonder if the next guy that comes along can also appreciate such drama and yet, at the same time not be too much of a nerd too. 

 走向共和》