Vagabond At Heart

Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.

John Gardner

“Always in the big woods when you leave familiar ground and step off alone into a new place, there will be along with the feelings of curiousity and excitement, a little nagging of dread. It is the ancient fear of the Unknown, and it is your first bond with the wilderness you are going into.”

–Wendell Berry, Naturalist–

This quote perfectly describes how I feel currently. Looking at the fear of unknown as my first bond into the future actually heightened my excitement!

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
   it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
   it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
   but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
   the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
   it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
   but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
   but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
   but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
   but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
   it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
   but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
   but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
   but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
   but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
   but to grow and live for the future.To let go is to fear less and love more
      Remember: The time to love is short
 —— author unknown

Probably takes a saint to do this. But, it is a good reminder of all the things that I should learn to let go. Makes life alot easier if I do. Alot happier and more carefree too.

This poem reminds me of a workshop I have attended. In this workshop among many strangers, I learnt that one of my greatest failings is I have problem letting go of the fact that I always have to be right. I have always been rather obstinate in my own ways. Everyone around me know how stubborn I can be once I make up my mind about something or once I formed an opinion about someone or something. It is hard to sway me because I hold on firmly to the conviction that I know I am right. It is frustrating for the people around me because I may not debate the point with you since I think intellectual debates are pointless. I simply radiate the attitude of “So, we hold different views. That is alright. We do not have to agree. But, in my mind, I STILL think I am right.” This frustrates the people around me since they have no opportunity of making me see their points or any hope of me adopting their perspectives. I have mellowed alot over the years. I have learnt that there are many instances in life where it does not matter who is right or wrong. That it is just a differences of perspectives. We are all right in our own ways. That it is often impossible to just draw a clear cut line between right and wrong. But, in many instances, I still have problem letting go of my need to be right. This may be a good area to start working on in the “Letting go” dept.  

In winter, when the fields are white, I sing this song for your delight

In spring, when woods are getting green, I’ll try and tell you what I mean

In summer, when days are long, perhaps you’ll understand the song

In autumn, when the leaves are brown, take pen and ink, and write it down

All I wanted to tell you was my feelings for you.

“The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life”

–Brian Tracy–