Just feelings

Some feelings are beyond words. Maybe it is because I have never been very good at articulating my feelings out loud. Or maybe, my feelings are beyond my own comprehension too.

When I was young, I always thought that love is something sweet and wonderful. As I grow older, I realised love is not always wonderful. It can hurt in so many ways and causes so much pain.

I feel so silly.

P said “Maybe that is his way of caring for your feelings. Maybe he does care but he is sparing a thought for you by drawing the line”.

It doesn’t make me feel any better to think that. Cos I feel the cut. I feel the distance between us spreading out like oceans apart. The sadness is almost unbearable.

Today, at the interview. I was asked “What are your dreams for the future?” and “Do you have intention to settle down anytime soon?”

I thought of you. The future that is not happening.

Painting a new picture of my future is the best gift I can give myself this year.

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