I am trying to keep the fears in me at bay. To pay no heed to the negative thoughts arising in my mind. To constantly remind myself to be patient and not to give in to self doubt. And that if I persist patiently, I would be able to get what I want.
When I first started on this job-hunt, I thought I should be able to get something I like reasonably fast. But, it has been 3 months and I am still clueless without any firm position to go to. And the job market has been vibrant. The various rounds of interview has reinforced a clearer idea of what I want. I have a particular role that I want and have a few selected companies I like to join. The harder part is convincing them to take me in a role where my experience does not match.
And frankly, I know there are tons of experienced candidates on the move vying for these positions as well. But, frankly the job that I want is not a high profile role. It can be loosely translated to an clients servicing role coupled with lots of administrative paperwork. I maybe unfamiliar with some of the products but I hardly anticipate problem doing simple admin work. My current role is all about clients servicing. So, what the big deal and hype?*exasperated*
H asked if I am being too picky. Frankly, I do question myself alot on that point too. But, I want that position as it is ideal entry for me to gain the required experience to maneuver myself within the industry later on. This is important to me as once I acquired the relevant experiences, mobility is not an issue. And of course, if given a choice of companies, you choose the better paying ones and those that looks better on your resume. This is probably why I am not getting the offers I want since I am probably competiting with the experienced candidates in search of greener pasture.
I am getting the panicky sensation more often. The sense of uncertainty is driving me nuts. I realised how hard it is not to lapse into moments of self doubts in moments like this. We probably do not realised this, but, alot of our self identity is tied in with the work we do. Unconsciously, there seems to be an invisible thread linking our sense of self worth with our level of productivity (translated into earning ability, value to the organisation, etc).
I have to forcibly remind myself that career is only one aspect of life. Not having a career now does not make me a worthless person. (This is probably easier and more convincing if I am a stay home mum or have no money concerns.) There are still other important aspects of life that I can focus on. The sweet and simple things. So, take this period to focus on the more important things like spending more time with my mum, friends and pursuing more interests.
Meanwhile, a few colleagues in the know are still suggesting that maybe I should stay put. But, my resolve to move is stronger than ever. The rationale being, if I have problem moving on now at this age and when the job market is vibrant, it is going to be worse if I wait further. I really want to acquire the relevant corporate experience so that if I ever have the option to move overseas, getting a job to feed myself is not an issue.