The holiday plans & fears

For the last couple of years, I had given in the my denser impulse to feed my love for travel. The beauty of having a career with flexible working hours allow one to take holidays on impulse. Last year, I had 4 impulses within a year.  Blame it on the budget airlines giving out promotional airfares. 

Then, there were the occasions when I just felt that I really needed to fulfil my little dreams. There was this one particular convention that I felt I really wanted to go attend in my lifetime and off I went. And then, the whim to go fulfil my dream of backpacking Europe since I was a student. The notion striked and within a month, I was in Europe.

Since the beginning of this year, the people around me had been asking me of my holiday plans for this year. They were rather astonished by my lack of plans. One friend did ask if I wanted to tag along with him to backpack Tibet. I did consider it as a possibility in the later part of the year. But, it seems unlikely now with the start of my new job next month. I have a six months probation period, meaning no leave allowed. The last quarter of the year, I have study plans. Meaning. Either I take a quick holiday within the next three weeks or no travel this year.

Somehow, the no travel this year seems like quite a shock to me. I can’t quite remember the last time that I had not taken a trip within the year. However, the impact is not so much in not being able to travel. It is the sinking in of the adjustments to my lifestyle that I will be making. It is already starting. And it is going to translate to more changes in many aspects of my life. I am starting to feel abit panicky. By just the thought of all the changes. I have been telling myself I am prepared for the changes. In fact, I was the one who decided that I want the changes. Now, faced with approaching changes, I am suddenly a little scared and nervous. What if I cannot adapt? I guess the self doubt is ridiculous. I will just have to put in more efforts into learning the ropes in a new environment. And I will adapt because I want to. Mingled with fear is also anticipation and relief that I am finally moving on. That should be all that matters. Really.

Meanwhile, maybe I will take that quick holiday. Just a quick getaway somewhere. If I can still manage to find available flights that does not coincide with the school holidays and Easter weekends. Even if it is alone, it’s fine. Or if I am really eager enough, I may just take N up on the extravagant idea to join her for a few days in Dubai. Maybe, I can claim my flyer points.

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