J just got back fm Perth whilst L & A is currently enjoying Maldives. M has just flown off to Japan for a week. W is in Korea. Really, I could go on and on. It seem like every week or so, someone is flying off. I need my holiday fix SOON! Argh! This is the longest I have gone without holidays for years. I miss my freedom. Sob!
Last week, after a completely insane and unplanned drunken session (ok, the beer session was planned but getting drunk was not in the agenda), I decided to face the fact that I am completely and utterly unhappy with my job. I decided that it is time to stop whinning and have a talk with dear boss. I was all prepared to throw in the white towel and surrender unless we can find a way to make things better. Fuck the bad market timing and all the self rationalizing thoughts. If I go into office everyday screaming murder (actually more like suppressing the urge to murder) and killing myself with stress, then obviously, no job is worth it! Seriously, I aim to work to live, not live to work. We did kind of come to a compromise. Frankly, I am wondering if it will work cos to be completely honest, the system is only half the issue. The other half of the issue lies with my technical competencies. At this moment, I still lack the technical competencies neccessary to handle the job. No doubt, I can always brush up on it and I believe given time, I will. But, there are some things that you need to have a natural knack for. Some people can paint, some people are good with numbers, some people are gifted with music. Everytime I look at the reports, I feel my brain starting to freeze up. Not a good sign.
But, after the talk, I feel like I need to really convince myself that this is really not going to work out before I give up. After all, it was not easy to make it through the past 6 months and I cannot say in all honesty that I am not improving. Let’s see if I can stick it out for the next 6 months.