Wake me up when September ends

Lately, I have been feeling like I can feel again
My senses are awakening
Flashes of memories bring back varying emotions
With the emotions gushing through me
Some of these memories brings me right back to the moment
Conjuring myriad of feelings that feel so familiar
And surprise me with the depth of their intensity
Bit by bit, it sinks in
It feels wonderful to experience more than this numb state of my mind that has been hanging over me
It feels wonderful to feel again
Both happiness and sadness
To feel beyond the control numbness
I am starting to feel hopeful again
Little seeds of hope are growing
I am starting to feel like myself again
The self that was rompering over Europe alone
The self that is wilful and nice at the same time
The self that was joyfully lying on my back on some france hillside contemplating on the wonder of life and exploding with contentment

My enjoyment of books, music, movies and plays. These are physical signs. My strong yearning for companionship, laughters and interesting conversations. These are all signs of my awakening soul.

I have to confess. It all started with somebody’s birthday which brought back a whole chunk of memories, sparking off a rush of feelings. Feelings that has been absent from my life of late. Of course, not all feelings are pleasant. But, the intensity of these feelings surprised me. Bit by bit, it finally sunk in that I was shrouding myself in a web of controlled numbness. It feels really good to give in to the intensity of my feelings. I cannot pinpoint when hope started to creep silently in. But, it seemed that one fine day, I just awaken to the fact that I am feeling hopeful and all positive again.

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