Lately, it striked me that I am feeling more settled in this job. The aura of increased confidence has crept in unnoticed.
The first time I noticed this change was when I was telling W about my job. It striked me how far I have come. It also striked me that in some ways, I have grown too. The tiny steps that I am taking have helped me move on without me noticing. This realisation is reassuring.
The second realisation was when C came down and asked me to consider going back to the previous job. There were no confusion on my part, the answer was a clear no.
Of course, I still struggled with the issues that spring up sometimes. But, it is just part and parcel of work. And it is gladdening to realise that, I have grown better at handling the stress and people at work better. I am also starting to understand why some of these people have stayed there for so many years. Comfort zone. I am starting to sink into my comfort zone here too which is bad in a way since this is not the place I see a long term future in.
There are still days when I feel like an adult delinquent among all these parents discussing mudane household issues but most days, I just laughed along with them.
It is clear this is not the place for me in long term but this transit point is helpful.
Until I deem it time to move on, it is a good idea to just enjoy the stay.