If I want to reach out, he is just within reach. But, I hesitate cos I am not sure if I want to reach out.
He is also hesitating…keeping the distance close enough for me to reach out if I want. Keeping the bridge open but not venturing further. Waiting for my responses to the openings he created.
And yet, not releasing his other hand. I do not know what is the story there. Is it the physical miles between them/other complex issues? The few times we ventured close to the topic, I drew the conversation away, keeping my distance.
Cos even if his hands are completely free, my hesitation will still be there. I am not sure that I want to reach out to him as more than a friend. And with that in mind, I am trying my darnest to maintain a safe distance. Keeping the invisible line in sight is darn exhausting.
As M states succinctly, if my alarm bells are ringing this badly, I am pretty close to the edge of trouble.