No tears

I will very much like to have a good cry.

As a way of self comfort & to let go of the pent up frustrations & lingering disappointment in my heart. For some reason, I am unable to summon any tears. Not a sob. I feel rather numbed..or perhaps rather void of intense feelings, which is really unlike me. This does not feel normal.

Previously, it was all pent up anger, then, disappointment. At some stage, I realized that I have moved beyond anger. My calmness surprised me. There is still disappointment but once my decision is made, even the disappointment seems irrelevant.

The main emotion I am feeling is stress that I am going to be jobless for a while. I wonder if this lack of emotions is normal. The best friend commented last weekend that there is no happiness coming out of me from getting out of a bad work situation either.

Perhaps crying will help… Or perhaps, it is no big deal at all.
Perhaps the emotions will kick in after leaving this place with the time to reflect.

Whatever it is, I am very sure of my decision. Perhaps that explained why no tears.

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